college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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