at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
As shirtless as possible
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
