idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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