Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
