I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
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