Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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