its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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