we have officially lost it.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
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