dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
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