Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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