just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
