so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Randomize
