i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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