I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
