id be glad to
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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