You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
