im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
