I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
did you just send me my own nude
May the power of my ass compel you!!
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
