He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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