he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
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