Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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