You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
