do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
