my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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