you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
