I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
there was a trapeze. enough said
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
