So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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