you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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