White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Randomize
