Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
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