i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
