i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
