I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
