Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
