Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
