I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
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