I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
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