I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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