She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Help. Why am I so naked?
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