is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
