watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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