no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
