So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
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