Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
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You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
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Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
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