Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
