We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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