i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
