in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
