I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
