Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Dignity is for republicans.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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