WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I just had sex on a roof
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
