I wish I could punch you in the face.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
My breasts were aching with rage.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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