i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
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We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
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We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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