Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
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