I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I checked into jail on foursquare
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
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