Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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