If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
