Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
