I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Randomize
