sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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