Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
